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The Red Diary

24 July 2017 01:28PM

July 24, 1962

Dear Red,
I took Maf for a jog around the Brentwood loop before anyone was out. We listened to the dogs and the birds, smelled coffee brewing and fragrant lemons in the early
heat. I may sell this house when I settle in New York.…


23 July 2017 10:09AM

July 23, 1962

Dear Red,
I saw Mrs. Murray in my driveway with Weinstein, describing my delicate condition,
or what? When she walked in, I gave her notice and handed her six month’s severance pay. She took it like ice, but agreed to stay on until August 5th,…


22 July 2017 11:05AM

July 22, 1962

Dear Red,
At dawn Frank’s pilot flew the three of us back to LA. Bad Bad Bad Bad. Last
night was fucked up. Frankie was singing on stage and Giancana sat down next to me at a front row table. About fifteen minutes later, he…


21 July 2017 06:17AM

July 21, 1962

Dear Red,
The day started nice and cool, drinking coffee by the pool. Then out walked Rudin
in his swim trunks, and I thought I was going to die! I gave him the cold shoulder,
he swam a few laps and left me alone. I started…


20 July 2017 08:33AM

July 20, 1962

Dear Red,
I had a seamstress sew a fake bottom into my travelbag for you, Red. I can’t risk
losing you, or having you discovered. So even inside the house I have a place to put you where the snoops won’t find you. Writing a…


19 July 2017 08:13AM

July 19, 1962

Dear Red,
Pat and Peter are picking me up tomorrow morning to drive to Cal Neva, just over
the California border. They say I need to rest, and this is the perfect opportunity.
Frankie is scheduled to perform Friday and Saturday nights. I can always relax…


18 July 2017 08:34AM

July 18, 1962

Dear Red,
When I was a kid a small dog followed me to school one day– the cutest, most loyal mutt you ever saw. At lunch I fed him my peanut butter sandwich, and after school he was still there, waiting for me. I…


17 July 2017 09:27AM

July 17, 1962

Dear Red,
Blood smeared my sheets like a rusty sunset with the pain of yet another period. Every time I complain, my GYN doctor offers to do a hysterectomy and take replacement hormones, but I think natures way is best. I’m afraid of menopause,…


17 July 2017 09:26AM

July 16, 1962

Dear Red,
I told Agnes that I have an appointment in two weeks with Dr. A.—I’m taking her advice and dumping Dr. G. She knows something bad happened and lectured me about hanging out with the Rat Pack when I told her that it…


15 July 2017 09:24AM

July 15, 1962

Dear Red,
Mrs. Murray broke my weight lifting routine when she arrived at eight this morning. I jumped up and insisted that she take the day off—she had put in extra hours for the party. I literally had to shove her out the door.…


15 July 2017 09:15AM

July 14, 1962

Dear Red,
I threw a 20th birthday party for Joan, Dr. G.’s daughter. She invited two dozen friends, her parents, their friends and we all hung out around the pool. The girls looked beautiful in their bikinis. Joe sat by my side all afternoon…


13 July 2017 10:40AM

July 13, 1962

Dear Red,
My nose is finally looking its unfruity self. Dr. G. is feeling vulnerable. He
is afraid I’m writing about IT and HIM. I told him I burned my diary at the
General’s insistence, and I’ve come up with a Trojan Horse. I told Dr.…


12 July 2017 07:51AM

July 12, 1962

Dear Red,
Another meeting with Fox. I chose Jean Negulesco as director to finish Something’s Got to Give. Twentieth Century-Fox has agreed to go back to Nunnally’s script— a much funnier, sexier version than what it mushed into. We are closing in on the…


11 July 2017 08:57AM

July 11, 1962

Dear Red,
Agnes fixed my hair for the Fox meeting today. She saw my bruise beneath the
make-up. She of course doesn’t ask for an explanation. She listens and guesses and talks around subjects so I can bare my soul. I told her I fired…


10 July 2017 07:19AM

July 10, 1962

Dear Red,
Yoo-hoo. Marilyn? Any little old me at home today? I’m trying to seduce myself. I want an intimate date with the real me. I want to dream hard and feel what I feel in my own backyard. Pat Lawford called her brother…


9 July 2017 08:34AM

July 9, 1962

Dear Red,
What are you staring at? I said to Mrs. Murray this morning when Dr. G. finally
left. I soaked in Chanel No. 5, I washed my hair, looked at my black and blue eye
and swollen nose, and for the first time…


8 July 2017 10:45AM

July 8, 1962

Dear Red,
Dr. G. apologized a dozen times. He said he was jealous, stupid, emotional, paranoid. He covered the mirrors so I can’t see myself and took my phone and locked the doors. But I can feel how bad I look. Luckily nothing is…


7 July 2017 07:38AM

July 7, 1962

Dear Red,
I’m locked in my room. Something horrible happened. It is difficult to write because Dr. G. is standing guard in my living room. He took my phone away and barricaded my bedroom door to the pool. I’m a caged tiger. I can…


6 July 2017 08:44AM

July 6, 1962

Dear Red,
Agnes came to fix my hair today for a Life interview. She says she doesn’t
mind– she needs the work now that Something’s Got to Give is canceled.
Don’t worry, I said, it’ll be rolling again soon. Pat requested the questions
in advance so I…


5 July 2017 09:37AM

July 5, 1962

Dear Red,
Maybe talent all boils down to how well you can observe. It’s tough training to
be nonjudgmental. Because you can’t really learn if you are busy deciding if something is morally right or wrong. Andy sent me a birthday gift. A beautiful self-portrait…


4 July 2017 08:42AM

July 4, 1962

Dear Red,
I left a message at Hyannis Port for Jack. I know I’m not supposed to call, I just want to wish him a happy Fourth. That’s not really calling, is it? I gave Mrs. Murray
the day off—- I’m having a party. Inez…


3 July 2017 10:48AM

July 3, 1962

Dear Red,
I can’t get through to Jack or the General. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know the story: politics. Big problems are brewing. I have to say goodbye for now. Keep Calm and Carry On, he reminds me. Keep my finger off the dial.…


2 July 2017 09:23AM

July 2, 1962

Dear Red,
Inez stopped by for me to sign mother’s papers, write checks, and take care of her
mail. I can’t believe some of my fans correspond with mother! Her doctors aren’t
labeling her a schizophrenic anymore. Instead, she has agoraphobia and paranoia—not…


1 July 2017 11:41AM

July 1, 1962

Dear Red,
I’m exhausted. Pat said I looked like shit when she arrived. How could I look
anything but shit? I didn’t get any sleep last night. It has taken hours to feel
Marilyn this morning. Agnes came at 1:00 to fix my hair for the…


30 June 2017 08:29AM

June 30, 1962

Dear Red,
Today was the second photo shoot for Cosmo– it went swell. But now I’m awake. Too much to think about. Lee is sore and hasn’t returned my call. The situation with Dr. G is outrageous. Jack’s number no longer goes through. I…

 

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